A New Year is also an opportunity to look back and see how far we have come. When we look at technology we have come such a long way in a short time. Kids going to school today cannot imagine what it may have been like without the internet, iPods and mobile phones. I’m having trouble remembering how things used to be so this has been a wee bit of a project these holidays.
For auld lang syne then ….
A
Analogue – Not really obsolete as I still have and love analogue watches and clocks. Digital never really took off did it? I have noticed that new ovens have analogue clocks/timers rather than the digital style of last century.
B
Batteries – again not obsolete technology I just thought I’d get my wish list out the way early! Also Mouse Balls – remember them? My toolkit was full of spares as they were the floggable item of choice in school computer labs.
C
cd – the DOS command to change directories – from the days when we had to tell computers to do stuff without being able to see what we were doing. Nowadays OS’s try to anticipate what you want to do before you do. They sometimes get it right.
D
DOS. I loved DOS so much I named a cat after this venerable OS. She’s now buried under an Apple tree. It is still very handy to have more than a passing knowledge of this OS. The modern throw-away generation will do a system restore rather than fix an individual software component using DOS commands.
E
Errors – OK another wish list entry but the combination of improved skills and improved technology does mean less errors. Things work way better than they used to – don’t they?
F
Floppy disks. In the end they disappeared really quickly as USB nerd stick technology took off. I remember the 5.25″ variety and the Telecom Training Manager who folded one in half to fit into the 3.5″ floppy disk drive! FDD is now a redundant acronym
G
Gateway. One computer company had to be in this list. They bought out PC Direct and then departed from our shores. Remember their fresian print boxes? It used to be a nightmare in the old days when every man and their mates used to build computers in their garage with dodgy parts and dodgier commercial practices. Schools bought on price not on total cost of ownership (TCO) and were ripe for ripping off by these merchants of bad experiences. How many folk have bad stories of ICT integration just because of bad buying decisions?
H
Hubs – Ethernet ones are now superceded by switches. I vaguely remember rules about the allowable number of hubs in parallel and cable lengths that we had to check if network connectivity was a bit dodgy.
I
ICQ - (say it out loud) I know its still around but most of us have moved to Skype, Live Messenger, Google Wave or other multi media derivatives. I fondly remember being very bravely on ICQ at midnight 31.12.1999 at Okere Falls in Rotorua and getting messages from all over the world after midnight asking if the world had ended for us.
J
Jumpers – those little fiddly bits that we had to slip over the right pins inside the box and on HDDs to make hardware go properly. These young ‘uns don’t know they’re born!
K
Keyboard Shortcuts. I used to be able to do everything without even touching the mouse. I remember getting a call in my Telecom days from the CFO Telecom Cook Islands who had arrived and found there were no mice for the computers! I had to talk him through operating the computer without the mouse (and getting around the OS’s reluctance to work without it!). Office 2007 has retired many of the keyboard shortcuts and no longer even shows the underlines in the ribbon menus that indicated how you could travel sans mouse.
L
Lotus 1-2-3. My love affair with spreadsheets started here. My only gripe about Excel 2007 is that it doesn’t recognise some of my favourite old Lotus keyboard commands like all other Excel versions have done. I think I can live with it.
M
The Sony Mavica digital camera was the bomb in the day. Recording onto a floppy disk was just so handy and revolutionised digital photogrpahy in primary schools. Students were no longer restricted to adorning their computer stories with clip art – they could use relevant pictures!
N
Windows NT. The completely unsupported and insecure OS that you’ll still see on computers in places like Banks and Government Agencies.
O
Overhead Projector – still hiding one in your cupboard? Superceded by data projectors and visualisers.
P
Parallel printing cables. I’ve thrown my supply of alternative lengths out. PCs don’t even come with parallel ports any more so there must be lots of obsolete printers out there.
Q
QWERTY keyboard – still lives! Despite prophecies of its obsolescenc at the hand of voice technologies and the threat from Dvorak and other lesser known layouts QWERTY remains. Our brains have become wired QWERTY. I found it really tricky typing an address into a hire car’s Garmin GPS recently – it’s keyboard was in alphabetical order! What is that about?
R
The Windows Registry – yes, that part of the OS that you alter at your own risk. Editing the registry was a buzz when you disregarded Windows’ dire warnings and edited, deleted and added with impunity, restarted and everything worked better than before!
S
Spirit Bander – the magic way of creating multiple copies of a document using methylated spirits – yes, really!
T
Tape Back-ups – nobody does these anymore surely? I remember many, many late nights spent managing a multi disk backup that was meant to be automatic.
U
Ubix - now known as Konica Minolta. Haven’t photocopiers come such a long way? Our one can be fitted with an accessory that makes coffee – no bull!
V
VDU’s are still with us but the CRT ones are causing recycling folk problems and we’re enjoying the LCD models with their smaller footprint and great resolution.
W
Windows ME – The aberration of an OS for the home user in between Windows 98 and XP. According to Wikipedia Windows ME had 0.04% market share in November 2009. What?
X
XCopy – the powerful command we used to copy files, directories and subdirectories utilising all sorts of clever switches. Pre WYSIWYG click’n'drag! I was reminded of this when reading a very recent article in Techrepublic - it appears that we can still simplify file management with the XCopy tool. It was removed in Vista but has made a comeback in Windows 7 and some clever dude has created a GUI interface.
Y
Yvonne‘ll fix it – Gone! I now travel sans screwdriver, have given away my spare parts and no longer crawl under desks. I have a new life!
Z
It has to be ZIP drives usually accompanied with the click of death. Moody and expensive. I’ve spent many hours trying to recover important data folk entrusted to these merchants of doom.
I’ve enjoyed the trip down memory lane. It has been a great journey but the days are better now!
I live on a farm.
OK, it’s a small farm but is is a farm nevertheless. We have cows. In deference to it’s size it is called THE NEARLY FARM. Capitals afford it more importance than it deserves so maybe The Nearly Farm is more appropriate.
I am bemused by folk whose pastime is Farmville. The Facebook variety. It’s almost like farming has achieved a romanticism, a chic image where exciting things happen like (let’s see….) someone else stops by to fertilise your farm. Like that ever happens in the real world! Did they get a soil analysis done before their farm was fertilised? You can do a lot of damage by fertilising with the wrong stuff you know, just look at the dust bowls of the USA.
Noone has ever just stopped by to fertilise our farm. They have been ordered and paid for, then you wait for the right weather and once the moon is in the right quadrant they roll in with their trucks and spreaders and fertilise. Them over the river that have a real farm with some hilly stuff get planes to fertilise theirs. Planes don’t stop by, they pass over. Preferably. For the health and longevity of the pilot.
Anyone that doesn’t have a Facebook account and friends that play with Farmville on FB will think I have totally lost it if they read further. For their information Farmville is something that some folk do online that leaves strange messages on our Facebook pages recording the activities on their farms. The messages are strange. It is unreal. I’m just telling the story here.
Some folks find that adorable baby calves have strayed onto their farms, some of them are green. I thought at first that they needed to fix the fences but it appears they are delivered in a nappy by storks. I must warn them that adorable baby calves that are away from their mamas for too long get very noisy. If you can’t find their mamas, you may have to mother them on to one of your nursing cows, or if you don’t have a nursing cow you’ll have to buy formula. Formula will give them the squits as its a change of diet for their sensitive tums. Squits are nasty, messy and smelly and you’ll get some on you. Goodness knows how ghastly a green adorable calf’s squits are!
These adorable green calves presumably have mothers somewhere who are missing them very much. They’ll be making a noise as well and there will be farmers out looking for their lost calves. By the look of the pictures on my Facebook page they have been kidnapped by storks so they could have come a long way. Have they been TB tested? I have to be able to tell those people where our animals were born and I don’t think “the stork brought it” will cut the mustard.
I’m off to the farm now. I’ve done my day job and I’m heading back to the Nearly Farm (aka Farmville 1.0) to deal with fences that need fixing, weeds that need pulling, paddocks that need topping. If I find that a clumsy reindeer from Farmville has stumbled onto our farm I’m going to be in trouble with MAF and the neighbours.
Maybe there is a good reason why folk stay indoors and play with their own Nearly Farms online. It ain’t the real world though.
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